Gen7: A NASCAR Halloween

during the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series CampingWorld.com 500 at Talladega Superspeedway on October 25, 2015 in Talladega, Alabama.

By Jason Schultz / @NASCARJason, Elijah Burke/ @ElijahWhosoever, Christian Espinoza, @Christian_Racin – NASCAR is a marketers dream for Halloween. Well, sort of.

With so many sponsors in the sport, there are plenty of different products to be given away to trick-or-treaters. In addition, the drivers have plenty of other endorsements.

We wanted to prepare you for what a Halloween night in the Martinsville motorhome lot would be like, so enjoy this (completely for entertainment purposes only) breakdown of what to expect. 

  • When stopping by Jamie McMurray’s coach, it will be a breakfast celebration as he dishes out the new all-day McDonalds breakfast items. He’ll also be handing out state of the art Cessna model airplanes.
  • Brad Keselowski will offer you one of those really tall Miller Lite glasses he celebrated his 2012 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion with. If you’re lucky, he’ll invite you in to enjoy a glass full of his favorite beer.
  • After the fireworks incident prior to the Charlotte XFINITY Series race earlier this month, Austin Dillon became a fireworks expert. He’ll be handing out, letting off and dodging them throughout the night.
  • It doesn’t matter whether it’s Monday after a top-10 finish or not, there will be free bloomin’ onions at the Harvick motorhome. The defending champion will also be handing out some cold Buds to make room for his new favorite ale, Busch beer, beginning next season.
  • After a dismal season, Kasey Kahne is wishing 2015 would end. There’s not much to salvage from this season, so he’ll be handing out his used cars. Ever wanted to have your own NASCAR race car? Here’s your chance.
  • You’ll have a spiritual stop at Trevor Bayne’s motorhome as he offers some bible tracks.
  • Many companies have been on Sam Hornish Jr.’s hood throughout 2015. To make sure they are all equally represented, he’ll have a yard sale with everything from Sonic milkshakes to Walmart products available.
  • Danica Patrick is in the midst of an endorsement change. To get rid of the leftovers, there will be free GoDaddy domain names. To promote the future, Nature’s Bakery fig bars for everyone!
  • If you’re hoping to grab a treat and go, don’t stop at Denny Hamlin’s motor coach. He’ll just have you write down your name and address to have FedEx ship you the candy.
  • Need an insurance policy? Casey Mears has you covered. He’ll be giving them out, courtesy of GEICO.
  • Rather than get a treat, you’ll receive a scare from Tony Stewart as he’ll be dressed in his costume all while Periscoping the entire night.
  • Clint Bowyer likes to live life on the edge. This is why his wife is making him clean out his collection of items with the label, “WARNING: EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.” If you want some fun, stop by and visit Cash’s dad.
  • Greg Biffle wants to make sure his candy stays bug-free. He’ll hand out the treats, while spraying Ortho around the bowl to keep it safe for consumption.
  • We were big fans of Ricky Stenhouse Jr.’s mullet. Jason even broke the story when Stenhouse showed up mullet-less to an event one day. However, the hair isn’t gone. He has saved it just for Halloween and will be giving out pieces to the trick-or-treaters.
  • Kyle Busch is stocked with M&M’s. He’ll be handing out giant bags of the colorful candies, along with stock shares in MARS.
  • Carl Edwards is a sponsor’s best friend. He is arguably the best at promoting his partnerships and as a result, has many endorsements. When you stop by to visit him, he’ll have Subway foot longs, ARRIS routers and Stanley tools to give out all while he performs some SportsClips haircuts.
  • Have a do-it-yourself job to get done this weekend? Let Matt Kenseth help. He’ll have all the DeWalt power tools you’ll need to finish the project.
  • Want to visit Victory Lane? That’s where you will find Joey Logano. He’ll still be celebrating his three consecutive victories while filling up your car with Shell fuel.
  • Jeff Gordon wants to help plan your retirement. He’ll have AARP memberships available, in addition to leftover 3M products from Greg Biffle last year.
  • Do you want to avoid conversation and just grab some candy? Visit Paul Menard’s motorhome where he will have the candy bowl out front to avoid communication.
  • Ryan Newman is pretty easy on HANS devices and has quite the collection due to his lack of a neck. Find him behind his coach where he will be handing them out, while continuing to run at the back of the pack like in Talladega.
  • Stop by and visit Landon Cassill if you want to skip the candy. He’ll be running triathlons with his visitors throughout the night.
  • Monster Energy has loaded up Kurt Busch as a result of the new sponsorship. He’ll have plenty of cases of the energy drink to hand out.
  • The last time Kyle Larson was in Martinsville, he had a taco and later fainted. He has learned from this mistake and will now give out the recipe for his guaranteed to faint Taco’s, rather than consume one himself.
  • What is the best possible treat to give out on Halloween? Bacon. Aric Almirola has plenty and will be dishing out the Smithfield product to his visitors.
  • Miss Brad Daugherty’s voice on the ESPN broadcasts? Don’t worry, A.J. Allmendinger will be handing out his mixtape.
  • Jimmie Johnson will be giving out business cards, so people at Panera Bread will know who he is next time.
  • David Ragan has likely broken the record for competing for the most teams in a single season. His award? Tons of fire-suits. Whether you want one from Front Row Motorsports, Joe Gibbs Racing, or Michael Waltrip Racing, he has plenty to give out on Halloween night.
  • Need new furniture? Stop by and visit Martin Truex Jr. He will be taking his trick-or-treaters furniture shopping.
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr. will be giving out Dale Calls. Don’t miss your opportunity to grab one and have the most popular driver available at your beck and call.

While we don’t encourage you to stop by the drivers’ motorhome lot and ask drivers for these items, it would be hilarious if it happened. Happy Halloween!

This piece was a collaboration piece among “NASCAR’s Gen 7,” Jason Schultz, Elijah Burke, and Christian Espinoza.

Photo Credit: Sean Gardner

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